I laughed as I read the information. I shook my head with a look of “What are you gonna do?” on my face.
You know those statements you receive from the Social Security Administration that tell you about your “Estimated Benefits” and give you a reminder of how much money you’ve made over the last decade? I got one in the mail a few days ago. If my perspective is in disarray it is a guarantee that I will NOT enjoy reading the information. Why? Because I know the statement will show I made more money ten years ago. It will show a man “on his way up” and then his salary drop, like a watermelon being thrown off a roof onto a concrete slab. Splat.
When God told me to go to seminary back in 2001 He was not just telling me to go to seminary. He was telling me that my dreams of being a successful marketing whiz would now be destroyed. My goal of “retiring” early would now have something in common with being able to fly…..it would be wicked cool but really it’s just make-believe.
Another thing happened when I felt God was telling me to move to Texas and go to seminary. I fell face down and laughed. Me in seminary? Yeah, right. In Genesis 17:17, God has finished telling Abraham he would indeed become a daddio at the ripe old age of triple digits with a woman not much younger. Abraham fell face down and laughed. It made zero sense to me to go to seminary when I was in my prime “earning” years. My upbringing was about making money, saving for retirement, and carving out a safe existence, so this step wasn’t simply unrealistic, it was hilarious.
Little did I know I would go to the dust bowl that is Texas, reach new heights of wheezing due to asthma, and meet my bestest friend who would be the perfect partner to navigate this road. They were the bestestest years of my life.
We’ve been married for 5 1/2 years and we have had several moments of falling face down and laughing at the steps God has called us to take. We continually shake our heads, sometimes in the “NO” direction, at God leading us to do the exact opposite of what we would rather do and all we can do is laugh.
It is comforting to know that God understands the laughter, but I need to remember He will always be more interested in the obedience. Regardless of what the Social Security Administration tells me.