Thank you, Mr. Young.
As I get ready to move on not only to stretchy pants during this time of year, but to a bigger size of stretchy pant, I would like to offer my New Year’s Resolutions, which will include the goal of downsizing said stretchy pant to a more manageable size. (I will also probably include a resolution pertaining to run-on sentences.)
Let’s go with 9.
1) I commit to reducing my off-key singing by 40%. This is a doozy. If followed I will be relegated to singing off-key 12 less times per afternoon. Singing on-key is simply less fulfilling. Pray for me.
2) I commit to continue my search for new music. Sounds like a boring resolution, but when I find a new band it helps extinguish even the worst days.
3) I commit to embracing my age, thus lifting with my legs coupled with an emphatic exhale in order to prevent grunting which would usually be followed by the regrettable, “Oh no.” I think this is sufficient explanation.
4) I need to be better about calling friends and being an encouragement. As we age, life can become more difficult…..and better. We need to be a part of the process.
5) Twinkie intake – reduced.
6) I would like to seek God at times other than when I’m in the stuff.
7) I commit to feathering my hair and going out in public. It just seems like the right time.
8) More fiber.
9) I would like to impact eternity this year. Take some real risk. What happens if I fail to take risks? Nothing. I give you permission to hold me accountable and ask me on occasion if I have fulfilled, or attempted to fulfill, resolution #9.
10) I would like to annoy the wife 22% less this year. Now, if I fulfill #1 with moderate success then I will have fulfilled approximately 14.5% of #10 so it is imperative that I work on #1. #8 would be a good place to start. Full circle.
If 2012 truly is the year the world ends then I couldn’t be happier. Life is good here on earth, but heaven is going to be better.
Good luck with 2012. Don’t wait.